As you browse through the Internet, you might discover different definitions of asexuality. But, the challenge lies in solving the mystery and finding the correct information. One of the misconceptions related to asexuality is equating it as celibacy.
In simple terms, celibacy is a personal choice. Here, a person decides to practice abstinence. Whereas asexuality is a sexual orientation, it is not a choice a person makes.
Now, let us look at some misconceptions shadowing asexuality for quite some time. We will then delve into the different ways to embrace asexuality.
#1 Myth: Asexuals have no sexual and romantic feelings. They won’t engage in sexual activities.
Asexuals have lower sexual arousal and desire. But, it doesn’t mean that they have no sexual or romantic feelings. Asexuals would engage in sexual intercourse to please their partners. They would also take part in other forms of sexual activities, referred to as outercourse.
#2 Myth: Asexuality is a sexual or mental disorder.
As per the Archives of Sexual Behavior, “asexuality is neither a sexual disorder nor a symptom of another disorder.” However, there is a condition known as Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder or HSDD. It is a condition where a person has an acute lack of sexual desire. Asexuality focuses more on lack of sexual attraction. Remember that they are two different concepts. Here, one is a medical condition, and the other is a sexual orientation.
#3 Myth: Asexuals lack a satisfying sex life.
Some asexuals are comfortable with some amount of physical and sexual contact. But, there are other asexuals who don’t enjoy sex. There is a study on the frequency of sex among asexual men and women. Here, three-quarters of men and two-thirds of women had “about right” amount of sex. It shows that asexuals might have sex, but it is subjective.
#4 Myth: All Asexuals are virgins.
This is a myth. Asexuals could have had sex and lost their virginity. Some asexuals come to know about their sexual orientation from a young age. But, others take time to explore and discover. Some asexuals would understand their sexual orientation after having sexual experiences. Besides that, asexuals would also have sex for two reasons. They are either for satisfying their partner or for impregnation.
Different Ways to Embrace Axesuality
You might go through different stages of confusion and fear as you figure out your sexuality. Adding on to this, societal pressure to have sex and to lose virginity can impact you. But, you can always move past these hurdles and embrace asexuality. Though it might take time, you can look past these misconceptions and stigmas with support.
- Focus on Self-Awareness and Acceptance
Since there is a lack of awareness, most people fail to understand the meaning of asexuality. It is because our society always teaches us that sex is normal- anything deviating from it is not. These notions make asexuals question themselves.
Hence, as a first step, it is imperative to gain an in-depth understanding of sexualities. Currently, several studies are happening in the field of sexuality. You can explore more by going through them. With self-discovery, you could lead a life that you have always wanted to have. Remember that, like any other person, you can have a romantic relationship. Society puts forward having sex as a norm for a healthy relationship. But, several asexuals lead a strong romantic bond without sex. Hence, it is all about being who you are and being with the right person.
- Understand your Experiences and Challenges
Akin to awareness, you have to look into asexuality from a positive light. Coming out is a way to embrace asexuality. But, it is personal, and you have to come out when you feel it is the right time for you. You can always come out to your friends and family members.
During your journey, you might encounter several challenges. Even when you come out, your parents might fail to understand the concept. Sometimes your partner might consider that it is because of their lack of sexual skills. By spreading awareness, you can help them to understand asexuality as a sexual orientation.
- Gain Support from a Community
Until the late 1990s, asexuals, also known as aces, had little to no connection with other asexuals. Due to this, it was a challenge for them to communicate and create bonds. It was only when the article “My Life as an Amoeba” went live that people formed the first asexual online community.
By joining or becoming part of a community, you can gain support and help. Asexuality Visibility and Education Network(AVEN) is the largest network on the Internet that offers support to asexuals. Through these communities and platforms like ours, you can be YOU in a judgment-free ecosystem. It would help you to embrace asexuality and be the best version of yourself.
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