Our desire for sex is based on many things, this holds true across the board whatever gender we are, but for women, things can be especially complex. We are women after all!
Everything from physical and emotional well-being, our past experiences, beliefs, lifestyle and how things are going in our current relationship if we have one, can affect our libido.
We may just be exhausted from the constant demands of today’s modern lifestyle. I mean who feels sexy when they are burnt out?
Lots of times, I speak to the partners, and they complain that the women they are with just aren’t into sex anymore. Perhaps it has come on slowly over the years, until it just feels like a chore to have to be intimate. Why not just watch Netflix with a glass of wine? After all, sex has lost its appeal for many of us.
So why is this? I wanted to take a few moments and go through a few things that can cause us to lose interest in getting hot and steamy in the bedroom. First of all, let’s not beat ourselves up, and let’s not let anyone else beat us up about out low libido either! There is always a reason for why things are the way they are, and we DO have a choice about how we want to change things. So let’s take a look at some common causes for low sex drive in women.
A wide range of illnesses, physical changes and medications can cause a low sex drive, including:
- Sexual problems. If you have pain during sex or can’t orgasm, it can reduce your desire for sex.
- Medical diseases. Many nonsexual diseases can affect sex drive, including arthritis, cancer, diabetes, high blood pressure, coronary artery disease and neurological diseases.
- Medications. Certain prescription drugs, especially antidepressants called selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, are known to lower the sex drive.
- Lifestyle habits. A glass of wine may put you in the mood, but too much alcohol can affect your sex drive. The same is true of street drugs. Also, smoking decreases blood flow, which may dull arousal.
- Surgery. Any surgery related to your breasts or genital tract can affect your body image, sexual function and desire for sex.
- Fatigue. Exhaustion from caring for young children or aging parents can contribute to low sex drive. Fatigue from illness or surgery also can play a role in a low sex drive.
Changes in your hormone levels may alter your desire for sex. This can occur during:
- Menopause. Estrogen levels drop during the transition to menopause. This can make you less interested in sex and cause dry vaginal tissues, resulting in painful or uncomfortable sex. Although many women still have satisfying sex during menopause and beyond, some experience a lagging libido during this hormonal change.
- Pregnancy and breast-feeding. Hormone changes during pregnancy, just after having a baby and during breast-feeding can put a damper on sex drive. Fatigue, changes in body image, and the pressures of pregnancy or caring for a new baby also can contribute to changes in your sexual desire.
Your state of mind can affect your sexual desire. There are many psychological causes of low sex drive, including:
- Mental health problems, such as anxiety or depression
- Stress, such as financial stress or work stress
- Poor body image
- Low self-esteem
- History of physical or sexual abuse
- Previous negative sexual experiences
For many women, emotional closeness is an essential prelude to sexual intimacy. So problems in your relationship can be a major factor in low sex drive. Decreased interest in sex is often a result of ongoing issues, such as:
- Lack of connection with your partner
- Unresolved conflicts or fights
- Poor communication of sexual needs and preferences
- Trust issues
(some points taken from the Mayo clinic website)
PHEW! That’s a lot of reasons!
Next time you feel guilty for not wanting sex, stop yourself right there and consider whether you would be better off seeing a Doctor, a Counsellor, a Naturopath, or a Sex Coach, or maybe all of the above.
Don’t suffer alone, get support. Most likely, if you want to improve your sex life, you can.